The long suffering Mrs Mog needs a new car as her current conveyance is well past its best and will die shortly.
So orf we jolly well go, we start at a Jeep garage (she wants an SUV). The salesman was irritated that we had disturbed him and had not made an appointment. He eventually took us for a test drive during which time he sat sullenly in the back of a truly dreadful car without saying a word. I had to ask him about the car and its "features" etc etc. Anyway we left without him even bothering to try to sell us the car.
Next to Audi where we wandered around the showroom for ten minutes getting in and out of cars. No one even acknowledged our presence so we left.
Then to Volkswagen where the receptionist put down her magazine (Grazia) to tell us that there was no salesman available. When I pointed to a suity twat sitting at a computer she said he was the finance man and couldnt be disturbed. I mentioned that I wanted to buy a car and understood that the salesmen were busy but just wanted to talk to someone. She told us to come back later. We left and didnt, of course go, back.
Next port of call, a beautiful shiny and sparkly BMW palace of glass and tile and satin brushed steel. In and out of cars X5 and X3. Then we went outside to look at the used X3 and X5's that were sitting on the forecourt. There were two girls sitting at a reception desk chatting and some suity twits wandering around with bits of paper in their hands. Anyway, i really liked the X5 and went up the reception and asked to talk to someone. I was told that they were all busy, they didnt ask me for contact details or offer me a coffee and a seat, so I left.
Let me clarify my appearance, I do not look like a tramp. We pitched up in my car which is considerably more expensive than any BMW or Audi. Thus the bona fides were established, Mrs MOG was dripping with jewels as is her wont. She just wanted someone to be nice to her and sell her a car.
I was horrified at this experience, I read that new car sales are down 30% - how much of this is due to the recession and how much to arrogant fuckwit car dealers is debatable. I am certainly not the only one who has experienced this level of desultory service in the last few months, I have heard similar horror stories from friends.
Mrs MOG now wants a Hyundai because the man was very helpful and took her for a test drive straight away and spent time explaining the car to her. Its about half the money I was looking to spend, but hey she will be happy!! As long as I dont have to drive it!
Toot toot!
Monday, 20 April 2009
Iain Dale - Guido Fawkes - mainstream blogging
Iain Dale is my favourite blogger. I check his site at least a dozen times a day, I love his style and forgive him his media tartishness and occasional egocentric lapses as just adding to his charm. However, when the blogger becomes part of the story I begin to worry.
I used to be important to Iain, he knew who I was... not any more. I am now just a meaningless statistic on his Statporn graph. I am pleased for him and delighted that his blog must be earning him a few quid. He deserves it coz he seems to work very hard indeed. I do fuck all and still cant blog more often than once every few months!
Now he is seriously mainstream I am seeking pleasure elsewhere, sometimes in porn, other times in more nutty blogs that places like Old Holborn send you. His is still my first port of call when I click the magic blue E but it doesnt satisfy me any more. Maybe its coz any tidbit I pick up from there has already been digested by several thousand people. In the old days you had a few days of grace to demonstrate how in the loop you were, now everybody knows at the same time as you do.
The same thing applies to Guido, he has done brilliantly and has put the blogosphere squarely on the map and felicitations to him too.
But where do I go now to get my inside track and formulate my opinion with which to impress my very impressionable associates who believe I am very politically savvy?
Perhaps Iain and Guido can have a members only section.... heh heh!
I used to be important to Iain, he knew who I was... not any more. I am now just a meaningless statistic on his Statporn graph. I am pleased for him and delighted that his blog must be earning him a few quid. He deserves it coz he seems to work very hard indeed. I do fuck all and still cant blog more often than once every few months!
Now he is seriously mainstream I am seeking pleasure elsewhere, sometimes in porn, other times in more nutty blogs that places like Old Holborn send you. His is still my first port of call when I click the magic blue E but it doesnt satisfy me any more. Maybe its coz any tidbit I pick up from there has already been digested by several thousand people. In the old days you had a few days of grace to demonstrate how in the loop you were, now everybody knows at the same time as you do.
The same thing applies to Guido, he has done brilliantly and has put the blogosphere squarely on the map and felicitations to him too.
But where do I go now to get my inside track and formulate my opinion with which to impress my very impressionable associates who believe I am very politically savvy?
Perhaps Iain and Guido can have a members only section.... heh heh!
Wednesday, 19 November 2008
I dont post anymore ......
.... because sooo many people do it soooo much better than I do.....
Iain Dale
Old Holborn
Theo Spark
they are really good chaps who entertain and amuse
if you want porn try el.nl
Iain Dale
Old Holborn
Theo Spark
they are really good chaps who entertain and amuse
if you want porn try el.nl
Tuesday, 24 July 2007
Littlejohn - pure genius!
Where's Bob Geldof when you need him? Where's Bonio? As I wrote a couple of weeks ago, if this biblical flooding was happening in some far-flung, Third World country, pop stars would be falling over themselves to record a charity single.
Roadies would be rigging up the sound stage at Wembley and the BBC would be clearing the schedules for a 24-hour live telethon.
My first instinct was to sit down and try to come up with a spoof version of Do They Know It's Christmas? in aid of British flood victims.
But it's such an awful, badly-written song, it's beyond parody.
That's not to say there was anything wrong with the sentiment behind Live Aid, just that when it comes to compassion, charity always begins and ends abroad.
About the only decent line bearing any relation to the original I managed to come up with was:
"And Call Me Dave's in Africa this summer time."
Never mind Saint Bob, where the hell is the leader of Her Majesty's Official Opposition? His constituents may be up to their knees in mud, but CMD is sitting in a mud hut in Rwanda.
Yes, I know this trip's been arranged for a long time but he could have postponed it, if only for a few days, pleading pressing business at home.
I'm sure the Rwandans wouldn't have minded. They're not going anywhere any time soon.
Before jetting off on his latest publicity stunt, Cameron was photographed wading through the flood waters on his own doorstep. Let's hope he wasn't wearing his trendy, recycled trainers, otherwise they'd have been ruined.
CMD's place right now is here in Britain, in his own constituency. He should have been touring the manor in a beaten-up Land Rover, feeling people's pain and dispensing mulligatawny soup and cheese sandwiches, accompanied by Mrs Dave in aristocratic, frayed Barbour jacket, Laura Ashley frock and green wellies.
He should be out there digging drainage ditches in Oxfordshire, not digging latrines in Rwanda. A bit of noblesse oblige might not have gone amiss.
Of course, it wouldn't have made the slightest difference - any more than Gordon Brown flying over the afflicted areas in a helicopter.
But it would have conveyed a sense of getting his priorities right. If there was one time when it wouldn't have done Cameron any harm to behave like an old-fashioned Tory toff, this was it.
In an interview before he left for Africa, CMD said there could be no going back on his crusade for compassionate Conservatism.
OK, old son, we get it. We've seen the pushbike, the windmill,
the team of huskies. How about extending a bit of compassion to those you expect to vote for you next time?
As far as Middle England is concerned, it's not the lack of clean drinking water in Rwanda which is top of their concerns, it's lack of clean drinking water in Tewksbury.
Civil war in Africa is terrible, but it's civil war in the Conservative Party which is CMD's immediate problem.
He won't have endeared himself to those who should be his natural supporters by disappearing off to Kigali while Much Binding-in-the-Marsh disappeared under six feet of water.
The freak floods weren't anyone's fault, but the fallout was. Cameron should have been on his hind legs, on every TV and radio station, asking awkward questions of the Government.
He could have asked Gordon Brown why he gave £8billion in overseas aid to Africa while at the same time slashing millions off Britain's flood defences.
He might have attacked the wisdom of hiring thousands of superfluous 'climate change' officers while emergency planning for a genuine natural disaster has been woefully neglected.
That's what a serious Leader of the Opposition would have done - consoled the victims and doled out a bit of high-profile, practical help, while simultaneously holding the Government to account.
In the middle of a national crisis, he shouldn't go missing, giving the impression that he cares more about Africa than his own backyard.
The time for stunts is over. Call Me Dave has to decide whether he wants to be Prime Minister or a rich man's Bob Geldof.
Roadies would be rigging up the sound stage at Wembley and the BBC would be clearing the schedules for a 24-hour live telethon.
My first instinct was to sit down and try to come up with a spoof version of Do They Know It's Christmas? in aid of British flood victims.
But it's such an awful, badly-written song, it's beyond parody.
That's not to say there was anything wrong with the sentiment behind Live Aid, just that when it comes to compassion, charity always begins and ends abroad.
About the only decent line bearing any relation to the original I managed to come up with was:
"And Call Me Dave's in Africa this summer time."
Never mind Saint Bob, where the hell is the leader of Her Majesty's Official Opposition? His constituents may be up to their knees in mud, but CMD is sitting in a mud hut in Rwanda.
Yes, I know this trip's been arranged for a long time but he could have postponed it, if only for a few days, pleading pressing business at home.
I'm sure the Rwandans wouldn't have minded. They're not going anywhere any time soon.
Before jetting off on his latest publicity stunt, Cameron was photographed wading through the flood waters on his own doorstep. Let's hope he wasn't wearing his trendy, recycled trainers, otherwise they'd have been ruined.
CMD's place right now is here in Britain, in his own constituency. He should have been touring the manor in a beaten-up Land Rover, feeling people's pain and dispensing mulligatawny soup and cheese sandwiches, accompanied by Mrs Dave in aristocratic, frayed Barbour jacket, Laura Ashley frock and green wellies.
He should be out there digging drainage ditches in Oxfordshire, not digging latrines in Rwanda. A bit of noblesse oblige might not have gone amiss.
Of course, it wouldn't have made the slightest difference - any more than Gordon Brown flying over the afflicted areas in a helicopter.
But it would have conveyed a sense of getting his priorities right. If there was one time when it wouldn't have done Cameron any harm to behave like an old-fashioned Tory toff, this was it.
In an interview before he left for Africa, CMD said there could be no going back on his crusade for compassionate Conservatism.
OK, old son, we get it. We've seen the pushbike, the windmill,
the team of huskies. How about extending a bit of compassion to those you expect to vote for you next time?
As far as Middle England is concerned, it's not the lack of clean drinking water in Rwanda which is top of their concerns, it's lack of clean drinking water in Tewksbury.
Civil war in Africa is terrible, but it's civil war in the Conservative Party which is CMD's immediate problem.
He won't have endeared himself to those who should be his natural supporters by disappearing off to Kigali while Much Binding-in-the-Marsh disappeared under six feet of water.
The freak floods weren't anyone's fault, but the fallout was. Cameron should have been on his hind legs, on every TV and radio station, asking awkward questions of the Government.
He could have asked Gordon Brown why he gave £8billion in overseas aid to Africa while at the same time slashing millions off Britain's flood defences.
He might have attacked the wisdom of hiring thousands of superfluous 'climate change' officers while emergency planning for a genuine natural disaster has been woefully neglected.
That's what a serious Leader of the Opposition would have done - consoled the victims and doled out a bit of high-profile, practical help, while simultaneously holding the Government to account.
In the middle of a national crisis, he shouldn't go missing, giving the impression that he cares more about Africa than his own backyard.
The time for stunts is over. Call Me Dave has to decide whether he wants to be Prime Minister or a rich man's Bob Geldof.
Tuesday, 19 June 2007
Pakistan! What are they on?
Salman Rushdie is a pompous, pontificating, smug, self centred git. But he is our pompous etc etc git. He also has a stunningly beautiful wife which is equally irritating.
The frigging Muslims are burning efffigies in teh street coz he has been awarded a knighthood. Why he got one is another story - but he did so that's that.
The Pakistan government has called in our High Commissioner - they say its an insult to Islam.
FFS do they think our civil servants sit around all day thinking of new ways to piss off Muslims!
I think this is just a conspiracy brought about by the effigy makers and flag importers of teh Muslim world to boost sales!
It has to be because people and governments cannot possibly be that pathetically stupid... can they??
I am gonna protest and burn a Pakistan flag in Trafalgar Square ... no problem eh???
The frigging Muslims are burning efffigies in teh street coz he has been awarded a knighthood. Why he got one is another story - but he did so that's that.
The Pakistan government has called in our High Commissioner - they say its an insult to Islam.
FFS do they think our civil servants sit around all day thinking of new ways to piss off Muslims!
I think this is just a conspiracy brought about by the effigy makers and flag importers of teh Muslim world to boost sales!
It has to be because people and governments cannot possibly be that pathetically stupid... can they??
I am gonna protest and burn a Pakistan flag in Trafalgar Square ... no problem eh???
Friday, 15 June 2007
Daaaavvvve is a cretin!
"Cameron seeks flexible working rights for all parents"
Dave is sitting in his office and thinking.... "which lot of core Conservative supporters can I really really piss off this week? Last week I got 'em with the Grammar School stuff.. what's next??"
DING! A light bulb goes off in his head and we get the above bollocks. If you run a small business (up to say 25 employees) and you lose a member of staff on a regular basis for a long period of time it has a direct and detrimental effect on your business. You can't just allocate someone else, or ring personnel, or recruit someone who will fit into your business instantly.
This is so unthought out and so provocative it would be laughable if it wasn't so stupid.
Why is he trying so hard to alienate his core support?
Dave you are a prat and if you trying to rush to the left as New labour hurries to the right (with Browns English jobs for English people which would probably have got me arrested if I said it!) you will lose us middle England in the middle of your melee!
Dave is sitting in his office and thinking.... "which lot of core Conservative supporters can I really really piss off this week? Last week I got 'em with the Grammar School stuff.. what's next??"
DING! A light bulb goes off in his head and we get the above bollocks. If you run a small business (up to say 25 employees) and you lose a member of staff on a regular basis for a long period of time it has a direct and detrimental effect on your business. You can't just allocate someone else, or ring personnel, or recruit someone who will fit into your business instantly.
This is so unthought out and so provocative it would be laughable if it wasn't so stupid.
Why is he trying so hard to alienate his core support?
Dave you are a prat and if you trying to rush to the left as New labour hurries to the right (with Browns English jobs for English people which would probably have got me arrested if I said it!) you will lose us middle England in the middle of your melee!
This how to campaign locally
Grant Shapps is my MP - he is a new breed and a breath of fresh air as far as I am concerned.
Check out this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FYc54HBy1xI
This is only one of many local campaigns Shapps has launched and created. He took the seat in 2005 and is well on course to turn it into a safe Tory seat (7,500 +).
His method of campaigning has (deservedly)won him many votes across party lines.
He is bang on with this particular campaign. He is being supported by BOTH Labour and Lib Dem PPC's. Not only is this particularly clever politically but it demonstrates that the cause is correct.
He has also held public meetings with officials from the local NHS trust and shown that their forward financial planning ranges from non existent to abysmal.
When I have my first heart attack I don't want to have to spend 20 minutes sitting in a traffic jam on the A1 to get to A & E - quite simply the further away an A & E unit is - the more people will die. These are clinical issues being decided by politicians with ulterior motives.
I cant understand why Dave isnt screaming from the rooftops about the blatant political bias in the allocation of money to Labour seats at the expense of Tory ones.
If we had more MP's like Shapps I would be a lot more confident about our ability to win the next election.
Check out this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FYc54HBy1xI
This is only one of many local campaigns Shapps has launched and created. He took the seat in 2005 and is well on course to turn it into a safe Tory seat (7,500 +).
His method of campaigning has (deservedly)won him many votes across party lines.
He is bang on with this particular campaign. He is being supported by BOTH Labour and Lib Dem PPC's. Not only is this particularly clever politically but it demonstrates that the cause is correct.
He has also held public meetings with officials from the local NHS trust and shown that their forward financial planning ranges from non existent to abysmal.
When I have my first heart attack I don't want to have to spend 20 minutes sitting in a traffic jam on the A1 to get to A & E - quite simply the further away an A & E unit is - the more people will die. These are clinical issues being decided by politicians with ulterior motives.
I cant understand why Dave isnt screaming from the rooftops about the blatant political bias in the allocation of money to Labour seats at the expense of Tory ones.
If we had more MP's like Shapps I would be a lot more confident about our ability to win the next election.
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